Depression is a complex mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide, manifesting as feelings of hopelessness, loss of interest in activities, fatigue, changes in appetite, and difficulty sleeping. Supporting a loved one with depression can be challenging, and it’s important to choose your words carefully. Here are seven things to avoid saying, along with some helpful alternatives:
- “You should be grateful for what you have.”
- Why Not: Guilt-tripping someone with depression won’t improve their mood. Depression affects a person’s ability to feel positive emotions.
- What to Say Instead: “I know it’s hard to see the good things right now, but you’re strong and you’ll get through this.”
- “Everyone feels down sometimes. You’ll get over it.”
- Why Not: Minimizing their experience can make them feel unheard and alone. Sadness is different from persistent, debilitating depression.
- What to Say Instead: “Depression is a real challenge, and it’s okay not to be okay.”
- “You just need to…” (Followed by unsolicited advice)
- Why Not: Depression can steal motivation, making action difficult. Unsolicited advice can feel overwhelming and unhelpful.
- What to Say Instead: “Would you like me to help you make a doctor’s appointment?” or “Would you like to come for a walk with me?”
- “At least you have…” (Followed by a comparison)
- Why Not: Comparing their struggles to others’ invalidates their pain. Everyone’s journey is unique, and depression doesn’t discriminate.
- What to Say Instead: “What can I do to make things a little easier for you right now?”
- “You just need to think positive!”
- Why Not: Positivity isn’t a cure for depression and might feel impossible for someone experiencing it.
- What to Say Instead: “These feelings won’t last forever. There is help available.”
- “It’s your fault you feel this way.”
- Why Not: Depression isn’t caused by weakness or character flaws. Blaming the person adds to their burden.
- What to Say Instead: “You’re not alone in this, and it’s not your fault.”
- “Just cheer up!”
- Why Not: Depression is beyond the control of the person experiencing it. Forcing happiness can feel dismissive.
- What to Say Instead: “Would you like to talk about what’s going on?” Sometimes, just listening is the most supportive thing you can do.
Empathy is Key
The best way to help someone with depression is to listen without judgment, offer support without pressure, and be their cheerleader in the fight for recovery. Your presence and understanding can make a world of difference in their journey.
